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8:57 p.m. - Friday, Apr. 23, 2004 We lived in our second apartment and I would go to Papa Johns website and order pizza from the local restraunt and they would bring it right to my door. I used to go to this totally free site and order all kinds of free stuff...almost anything from condoms (sometimes if you go to a certain brands website, they'll send you free samples) to pantyhose (I think I have $3 and something that went to collections because I refused to pay shipping and handling for something that was supposed to have been %100 free. There was never anything stating that I would have to pay shipping and handling). It sounds pathetic, I know, but free stuff is always great no matter what it is. We moved here and I was still an internet junkie. Chatrooms were my deal. I had AIM, YIM and ICQ all downloaded to the computer and I went to telnet chatrooms. I loved telnet. Once you got the hang of it, it was pretty fun. Back then, we had the one computer and when it went ka-putski and had to be reformatted, the only thing I kept were the chat programs that I got the most use out of: AIM and YIM (which is Yahoo Instant Messenger in case you don't know). As much fun as telnet was, I decided to give it up because as with just about any chatroom I suppose, the places I went seemed to be getting too "clique-y" and me being the loner I am, I wasn't a part of that. Sometimes I hated it because...well, I just did. Yeah, it's just a stupid chat room, but there are real people that go there and online friendships build. And while I don't consider myself to be one of those folks that has to have attention all the time, I would like to atleast be acknowledged. In real life, I hate to be in a crowd because I always get lost. Even in a small crowd. Sometimes when Jesse is away, L will want to go hang with his friend Chad and sometimes I'll go with him. I like Chad and we get along and all that, but because L and Chad are so much alike in that they are big time into building computers, some of the same cartoons, pc games and Dungeons and Dragons, I get ignored because I'm not into any of that. I couldn't put the guts inside a computer if I tried, I hate cartoons but will watch Fox's Sunday night line up of The Simpsons and King of the Hill, I watch South Park and the occasional Daria re-run (yes, that may not make sense, but it's just me), the only pc games I have really played have been D, Dracula, Maniac Mansion: Day of the Tentacle, some of Fantasmagoria and almost all of The Sims games. I was really into The Sims Online for a while, but now not so much. And, I'm sorry, but I happen to think that Dungeons and Dragons is the dumbest thing. So, yeah, my point is that I don't have a whole lot in common and I tend to get ignored. That was my problem when I went into these telnet rooms and while I blamed no one but me, I just stopped going. I don't miss it. I'm just sitting here writing about it because I was thinking about how when I was somewhat involved and had an online life, I was in trouble a bit. I was always pissing someone off whether I had meant to or not. Internet drama isn't worth my time or energy. If someone wants to start something with me, then so be it, but I feel sorry for them if they have nothing better to do than attack me over something I said that they didn't agree with. We're all entitled to our opinions, but there is no need to make the fiasco that some do about it. Sometimes I wish I could spend all day on the internet like I used to (and when Jesse is gone, sometimes I do), but there are more days that I am thankful that I can't because if I did, I would be in the same old bullshit that I was before. It isn't worth it. I don't know thw purpose for this entry, I guess there isn't one, but I just felt the need to type and babble a bit. G'nite.
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